Oh, I can't do this, can I?
write about you honestly with all
the pain, distress, and lust that coils
inside the grip of an abundant book shelf?!
I aspire to be possessed by the
intensity of the present-- wearing a plump, dark hat
with a nonsensical feather, so auspicious it smiles!
Such flirtatious buttons winking with every
press of the wind from
the push of your eyebrows each time
this nervous unknown bounces off.
And I wonder, how do you see me?
Am I covered in a desolate dial tone
with a…
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Added by PensiveGemini on January 3, 2010 at 4:00am —
2 Comments
So I had a rigorous workout morning/afternoon planned out with my roommate for today... we did this crazy work out video in the morning and then walked half a mile back and forth to the gym... for some reason, I decided to hang out on the other side of the gym today... the side with the huuuuuge window facing the busy, commercial street in front... I was in the middle of my stair master exercise when who do I see? But Aquastell walking hand in hand with his petite little girlfriend... I wish you…
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Added by PensiveGemini on July 25, 2009 at 5:00pm —
5 Comments
I hear the words "democracy threatened by Honduran Coup" back and forth, muddled in the mouths of American and foreign newscasters who disingenuously falsify being well informed.
Zelaya has transformed Honduras into his personal drug machine, flying Venezuelen planes filled with cocaine into Honduras DAILY, joining ALBA lead by Chavez and cleary taking notes on violating years of constituional regimen by going against congress and pursuing a new referendum that would allow him to run for a seco…
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Added by PensiveGemini on July 5, 2009 at 11:00pm —
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I have been re-educating myself on healthy habits of self awareness. For much of my life, by example of maternal/paternal figures in my life, not exclusive to my mother, I perfected self criticism under a guise of self awareness preceding self improvement, when in reality, the image of a club beating the spirit out of my veins would have been better fitting.
I misunderstood pessimism for realism, doubt as self awareness, criticism as cognition, sacrifice for love. How could I ever develop a tas…
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Added by PensiveGemini on June 15, 2009 at 12:30am —
4 Comments
Competing performers under the limelight,
engaged in intimacy so public
it survives in theory
Assisting you
in writing this drama I bury
my head into your chest as we dance
With your hand placed on the tip of my spine
you indulge in the guilt of having something to lose--
your commitment to her playing the role of antagonist
as if choice were not yours
as if will were held hostage.
But
you wake before I do
when I shiver in our sleep
you push your nose into the space between my earlobe and ne…
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Added by PensiveGemini on June 14, 2009 at 1:00am —
3 Comments
There is loathing towards you
On this left side, here
Where you rest your elbow
Without loyalty, without care
I carry your image on this already
heavy shoulder
Letting the muscles of my ego decay,
becoming a loose woman busting out
of her blouse
so vulgar, so disposable
Harboring the needle that dug
into my rib cage, taking a blow at my lung
I struggle to keep conscious
surviving on the smoke from your mouth
swallowing without hesitation
this sentence I myself have imposed
I've tripped on my…
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Added by PensiveGemini on June 2, 2009 at 12:30am —
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Blows of thunder
you are not welcomed any longer.
No more injustice,
you cannot sleep beside me if you
cannot be here when you do it.
Fists on the ends of my arms
and your ghost smirking beside me
while you exist
miles away.
Why does it stay here, pretending
to love me,
when you eat breakfast without me,
when you make love without me,
when you get sick and recover
without me ?
Like a window taking the hit
of the rain
I force myself to navigate every tear
taking temperature of its heat
sac…
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Added by PensiveGemini on May 29, 2009 at 12:00am —
1 Comment
She stood on the tips of her toes, attempting to see as much as she could of her naked body reflected from his bathroom mirror. She traced the curve of her left breast with the tip of her middle finger from her right hand. She watched as her breast awoke. Is this what he sees, she asked herself. She examined the stream-like curve connecting her underarm and the bottom of her hip, leading into her thighs. Is this what he runs his fingers by, she asked herself proudly. She turned around to examine…
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Added by PensiveGemini on May 28, 2009 at 11:30pm —
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Yep, you read right. As some of you know he used to work at my company so my coworkers are his friends... a couple of them planned their annual shooting range trip (dont ask) over the weekend and today I heard from a coworker that that AquaStell brought his girlfriend with him... I strongly believe that its not someone new but rather that ex he's been on and off, on and off, on then off and then on again for at least four years now... Thankfully, I had already begun this process of letting go...…
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Added by PensiveGemini on May 18, 2009 at 9:30pm —
7 Comments
Hi all!
As you may have noticed, there will be no more Cosmic Dating with Pensive Gemini on sass.com--- but I will be blogging here on sass.net!!! I hope that you will all still join me from time to time but I do warn that my dating life has taken a drastic slow down, and this time, I wont fight it, I'll let it ride. Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something...
To be embarrassingly honest, my dating life went from activity and newness, to the same old regurgitated versions of commitmen…
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Added by PensiveGemini on May 9, 2009 at 1:30pm —
12 Comments
you take me to a simple time, simply
a past life, perhaps
where labels and currency are just figures
and love is the only collateral to happiness.
I want to forget material ambitions
trade in mirrors for paintings
Hollow walls for the fresh soil of individual
hard work and modesty
cultivate the drive of music, art and poverty
with the grace of silent movies
I want to be poor with you
hungry with you
sad with you, small with you
All to just
reach with you--
appetite,
ecstasy,
love.
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Added by PensiveGemini on April 29, 2009 at 10:19pm —
2 Comments
You left a mark
on my neck
the last time we shared
breakfast;
a rose colored fingerprint I wore
like a pendant
for the rest of that week.
I left my doubts on your
collar, right after
our walk from the restaurant--
I didn't even care
to rub them off.
We left a years worth of hesitation
lingering
in the space between our palms
where only silence could sweat
more.
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Added by PensiveGemini on April 24, 2009 at 12:00am —
2 Comments
I met him at a crossroads--
between guilt and healing
on the right side of my brain.
I had just finished pulling myself out of the waves of self pity
finally standing, but wet and heavy with lost time.
My limbs were still weak and my back still
burning when my arm carried my hand out to him--
and we were introduced.
Warm from the torturing womb of tenured professors,
all nighters and dining hall food,
I walked into Corporate America
through the glass doors
of stapling papers and paying my dues.…
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Added by PensiveGemini on February 25, 2009 at 9:29pm —
4 Comments
Following bouncing percussion
toward the shadow of his smile
wrapping my legs around threads
of movement and song
traveling between consciousness
and imagination
I mouth his philosophy with
my hips and curl my arms around
his advances
gliding my hands behind his neck
I lean in to his curiosity
I get to know him on the dance floor
and encourage contradictions
to his religion
even before understanding honestly
what he is reaching for
I see clearly what he needs
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Added by PensiveGemini on February 25, 2009 at 8:57pm —
3 Comments
Idiosyncrasy- life.
Unrequited "love"
with unequal distribution of bodies.
Respect after calculated submission—
defeat following the brush of your hand
against the forehead that pleased you.
I wanted you completely—
Incompletely.
Accepting you were promised elsewhere,
it was enough
as long as your body entangled mine after midnight.
—Here comes the sun—
and your hand became a paint brush against my back.
“Time to leave…” it whispered,
and I complied with my need
to run away before awareness foun…
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Added by PensiveGemini on January 5, 2009 at 2:30am —
7 Comments
Persistent, illusive and stubborn I dream about you awake and tell myself a story that keeps me going. I sing a song that reminds me of our laughter and do things that remind me of your flaws.
Tell me that you think of me. Show me that you believe in our differences. That it only ignites your curiosity and your inconsistent sense of sanity. Don't let go. I might give in to my persistent insecurity and give up the one thing I'm sure about in all its glitches.
I believe in its imperfect harmony…
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Added by PensiveGemini on January 5, 2009 at 2:30am —
1 Comment
