What is he, my ex, my friend? Taurus Man who never says things straight or how he feels?
Hello everyone,
Well first I'd like to know if any of you have had a relationship with a Taurus man or if you are a Taurus man if you could tell me a little of how you are or act in a relationship. (Oh and I am a Cancer).
I dated this Taurus guy for five months but before that I knew him for about a yr. In my opinion a lot of things were wrong with the relationship right from the beginning... long distance, he had just gotten out of a 3-4yr relationship(which was really hard on him, even though he loved her she was a total b****), and it was my first relationship. But what made us believe things would work out was that we had amazing chemistry!
He broke up with me cause he felt like it was for my good. He is a very busy guy, he is at the university and recently got an internship with Microsoft for the summer so most of his time is either spent at school or studying or homework or community service or work and he has no time for me, and when he did come visit me (we live a little less than 2hrs away) he would spend his whole weekend with me and didn't get any work done and that made him feel bad since he does have things to do and basically I was his greatest distraction (that he needed to get rid of i guess).
He said that it wasn't fair for me because he couldn't give me the time I deserved and that he wants me to find someone that can be a real bf to me but that next semester we can maybe try it again. He says he is not attached to me enough to fight for the relationship but that in the summer we could try it again (since he'll have more time and no pressure from school) and that we can become closer and then the relationship would be worth fighting for. Basically he picked school over me, which in my opinion he didn't need to choose I wasn't asking for more attention or time or anything, but he said he still felt guilty and like he was taking advantage of me.
Now that we are not dating it still seems like we are. He is constantly txting me, asking me about my day, and how I am. Also since we started school he wants to make sure I am sleeping right so he makes sure every night that I sleep by 11p and that I wake up by 8a, so he txts me good morning and since I have bad eating habits he makes sure I eat breakfast and asks me what I eat. He says he wants me to become a better person so he is constantly concerned with my grades and that I too start community service and etc.
I don't understand him at all! In the beginning of our relationship he was very excited and into me and then all of a sudden he stopped telling me that he loved me and still even after I'd say it he wouldn't say it back and also he stopped calling me pet names and saying pretty/sweet things. He still cared about me I know it cause whenever we were together he was so sweet and even apart he would send me emails about things he knew I liked. After we had broken up he made a comment on how if I showed him I was interested in bettering myself he would consider marrying me (he said it in a joking manner), which was strange because he doesn't like talking about marriage it scares him, he had never joked about it before or mentioned it. But don't think I'm not a good enough person, I am also attending the university and I am a good student its just that he knows I want to do a lot of things with my life and he wants to make sure I accomplish them.
Overall, I don't know what to think or do. I am trying to move on, and trying to not think about him, but its hard when he is still involved in my life so much and when I still love him. It hasn't been long since we broke up so I don't know how long this will last or where this is going, but I get the feeling that he still wants to be with me, just not right now. He even said it once, he said how he wished we could have meet after he graduated. But despite this I sometimes feel like I might be wrong and in actuality he doesn't want to be with me anymore. He told me that he doesn't want to say that we won't get back together because he doesn't want to limit his options (for some reason I felt insulted I am more than just an option!). Though from what I know he has never said something like that to any of his ex gfs, he usually left it really clear that it was over. Well next semester will be his last yr maybe this still has hope.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Karen on -
Moody, I have some thoughts on this.My husband is a Taurus and I have Moon in Taurus.
You're right, that usually Taurus's don't do this, because either they will stay forever or leave and not look back.
But without knowing his entire chart, I can't say what else is affecting him.
However, what I can suggest is this- because I recognize your feelings for sure, and his behavior is familiar to me too.(though I admit, a little odd)..:-)
I would be confused too, honey, any woman would be.
Probably any *person* would be.
He is your ex, who is being friendly but seems more involved than a friend, less involved than a boyfriend.
What is missing hon, is what do *you* want to do now?I know you'd like for him to choose to be with you again, but in this current situation where too, if someone told me he wanted to keep his options open.
I agree you're not an option, you're a young woman wiht feelings and you have value.
I believe he was just being blunt...but!
Here is what I strongly suggest Moody.
No drama--Tauruses hate it, don't respect it, and won't accept it long, if at all.
Just Tell him the truth, without sounding lovesick.:-)
This is not really working for you.
You know--tell him you like him a lot,but you need your own space to be working on your interests and your own career prospects. for now
(*this* suggests the business of "impoving yourself" without saying outright that you want to do so, because you do'nt want to sound like you're desparate to please him).
Matter of fact, Moody?
I would tell him, or anyone that I'm not a project!
Again-these things ae best said very calmly but firmly.Even say it sweetly-just be clear.
I don't know if you had or have some problems he is worried about and you dont have to tell me.
But if he is not referring to something in particular, and even if you *do* have emotional problmes or a drug problem--I could se him wanting you to work on it, but that is still your life and your decision.You're not his daughter, and even a daughter shuldn't have to work to be loved.
As a Cancer you need gentleness and caring --and you will give back even more of the same.
Tauruses are loyal and usually mean it when they commit and they stick with it too.it is the committment itself that may be difficult for them to decide about--and never ever push and pressure them.
But! you can state clearly how *you* are, without ever pushing him, understand what I mean?
My Taurus doesn't show his affection enough and it hurts me sometimes, but we have worked hard at our relationship. I trust him and he me.
But normally I wouldn't be comfortable with him being so undemonstrative.So, we could have easily eneded our relationship several times.
Now you are probably afraid that if you don't continue talking to hiim and answering the phone every morning or whatever, that you may lose him.But you may lose him now, anyway.He is being friendly, but not like a lover.
He is not really wiht you now, and that's the problem.There is also nothing wrong with asking outright hwhe feels, as long as you dont whine aboutit, just ask outright.:-)
It is one thing to become friends again with a guy 2 yrs after breaking up with him, but you cannot be 'just a friend'. .now.Nnow he is just a human being too, so he may not know for sure what he wants or how to go about this...but that still doesn't mean you have to hurt and pine away for him, but ocntinue to let him have your attention whnever he has a moment.
BTW, it really is hard to have a job scool, and a relationship and when weekends are free--it is hard to do all 3 with as much committment..and Taurus dtrongly identifies with hi work, and his money-making potential..It isn't that gf or wife or fmaily isn't so important--they are--but Taurians *always* work, and love relationships are committmnts that take work too, so he probably meant it when he said he couldn't devote his time to you in the right way.
However--he said he is'nt completely invested in his relationship wiht you--so don't let him get away with that.
Tell him that it is true you are only going to get better over time(improvment!) LOL, but that you areloveable now, and if he doesn't think you're quite it, for him nw he can try again after some time has passed.
*That* leaves both your options open, but you're not in a position of sitting and waiting and hoping and he thinks he can have you if he wants but may meet someone else--no!
He wont respect that, and you need to stand up for yourself and show you respect and care for *yourself* more openly than you have. . ..That is essential to being wiht anyone and, has the added piece that he will only resect *you* more for it.It's not an old wives tale it's a fact.:-)
In *any* relationship, we always have to take care of our own needs first and foremost and then we will have something to give the other person.
Don't ever go for crumbs from someone because then that is what we get..
You are valuble as you are.
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Permalink Reply by Moody STARS *-* on -
Thank you so much for your response! :D
And dead on! haha
But no I don't have any drug problem or anything like that. The thing is that since I haven't told him my GPA he knows that I am hiding something about my grades and he is right, even though I am a good student I'm not doing good in school and he can tell since every time he asks for my GPA I REFUSE to tell him. Its cause I know he'd give me a hard time if he knew. Also he thinks I'm lazy cause I like sleeping a lot, yeah I do like sleeping but I still do my work and I still go to school, in my opinion he just needs to feel a sense of control over me, which I let him think he has but really I just pretend to go to sleep at the time he wants me and pretend to wake up at the time he wants me haha. He wants me to be like him but I keep telling him that people are not all like him and won't be.
And during our relationship and still after I NEVER gave him drama, I always disliked the girls who were clingy and who bossed around their bfs and who just brought unnecessary feelings to a relationship. Actually he thought it was weird how I wasn't really jealous and we never got into fights, just probably 3 little ones which we got over that same moment. I have a hard time understanding him, he is very contradicting and its always been like this, from the first moment we met.
I am also showing him that I am improving myself but I don't say its for him, I just tell him how I am looking into some community service opportunities and how I already picked a club to go to but I actually have to do it before he believes me. He says that the thing that made him like me in the beginning was that I had a lot of ambition and had a great desire to want to do something with my life but that he later found out that I think too much about things and never get to them. So he won't believe me until he sees it. Another thing he told me before and after we broke up was that he wouldn't date anyone until he graduated, that I was the only exception, but that if we dated again it would be for much longer and at least a few years because he would want to make it last next time. (he is a long relationship kind of person, most of his relationships have been very long).
I am very much considering dating some other people and moving on, I love him but I am sure that I can love someone else but still in the back of my mind and heart I can't help hoping and still wanting to be with him.
Well this is his chart, if you could help me with it I would really appreciate it, I don't know much about the connection between signs and planets. I know what they mean separately but not together haha.
Sun Taurus
Moon Taurus
Mercury Gemini
Venus Taurus
Mars Cancer
Jupiter Gemini
Saturn Capricorn
Uranus Capricorn
Neptune Capricorn
Pluto Scorpio
Lilith Libra
Asc node Pisces
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Permalink Reply by tracy on -
I understand how you feel,I broke up a year ago with a Taurus for a similar situation except we're both in our 40's & we're not in college.It seems though your Taurus is genuinely caring of you,he has alot of things going on in his life but it doesn't excuse the fact of him being MISLEADING this is one of Tauruses fatal flaws.They will charm & lead you into thinking they want to be serious & start a relationship but when it's time to VALIDATE & COMMIT to the relationship they will backslide do a 360.He doesn't want to have the obligation to be your man because of everything that comes with the title because he's committed to something else which is much more important to him now & that's his schooling & everything you've mentioned.They refer to Taurus men as being weird,complex & complicated out of all the zodiac signs.I know your feelings are already out there but now you have to look at the big picture.There are plenty of students that have alot on their plate & they make & find time for love with that special someone.I work at university.I also understand his plight but he should had made a priority to let you know that he just wanted to be friends & nothing more in the very beginning so your feelings wouldn't get involved & you know what the deal is.Taurus men love to string you along until the tough gets going & the going gets tough,then they're running.But this is my experience & opinion.It's time to do you & tell him exactly how you feel & if you think you can't deal with him on a friendly basis tell him,now it's time for you to slowly collect your feelings & move on.I was in those shoes once,the first six months after we broke up was hard but I said it's him with the problem & he's losing out not I,I gave him my all & I guess it wasn't good enough & that's fine.I'm in such a better place now mentally & emotionally & that's something some Taurus men lack.Good luck Moody.
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Permalink Reply by Moody STARS *-* on
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Thank you so much Tracy,
You are very right! Taurus Men have a hard time committing and are very weird and complex! I will try to move one and in the future if he wants to come back and I'm not dating anyone well we might try it again but this time it'll be on my terms haha. Little by little I'm working on moving on. :D Thanks again ^-^
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Permalink Reply by tracy on
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You're welcome,I know where you're coming from & how you feel.I said the same thing to myself "if he comes around to his senses we can work it out"but he didn't & I'm not waiting or putting myself through the torture of being involved with someone that's hot & cold,on & off,confused & a emotional,mental coward.If you can maintain your feelings & be just buddies with him that's cool but the deeds done so you may just want to concentrate on you & get him out your system.You don't want to be hurt again.But who knows.....after you two get yourselves together after finishing school if it's meant to be you two may be back in each other arms.Just don't wait around for him to do it,live & enjoy life,do you.
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