Emotional cheating turns into...
I am guilty of emotional cheating and cheating.
I have cheated on my ex who was my high school sweetheart for years & he still has no idea. He knows that I have dated another when we were going through our "break" but he doesn't know to what extent. (He thinks that I dated other people when we were broken up...which was sometimes true but not always true). I have always told him that I was dating someone else during our break to 1) avoid hurting him 2) protect myself 3) keep the possibility of us getting back together alive
Lately I have been struggling with myself. I regret my past 100%. I ALWAYS think of going back to my cancer. I went back to him this time last year after a short relationship didn't work out.
We started re-dating in January 09 and I moved in with him in May 09 and cheated on him with my most recent boyfriend (Scorp) in September until we broke up a couple months ago.
I am struggling in my relationship with my Scorp because he is suspicious by nature and always accuses me of going back to my ex.
I feel like I could be happy with my Scorp (I adore him and have never cheated on him at all) but I still feel awful about my past.
I don't necesarily want to tell my ex that I cheated on him but I do need some kind of closure for myself. My Scorp and I can't be happy until I resolve this...so I told my ex that I have started dating someone new.
My Cancer ex told me he didn't care and that he still wanted things to work out!!! (He is aware that I have been sexually intimate with someone else).
I found myself imagining what our relationship would be like if we did get back together.
My emotions are running amuck! I regret hurting my Cancer...and I care for my Scorp and don't want to hurt him either. I told him this afternoon that we need to break up while I "heal" and decide how to find closure about hurting my Cancer.
Scorp seems ok with the idea but told me he still wants to be with me.
He has called me three times since we last talked in person (30mins ago) and just sent a text saying "I don't want to break up please call me."
Both of these guys are aware of what's going on.
I feel like I am the only one who doesn't know what to do!
I wish I wasn't a water sign sometimes...my chart is ruled with emotion and no rationale!!
Do you guys have any advice or similar stories?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Argentille on -
I've cheated in retaliation to a partner cheating. Never on my own.
Honestly, I find it hard apply chart placements to morals sometimes in regards to cheating...my father's chart stinks of a cheater and he has never once cheated on my mother.
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Permalink Reply by Alyssa on -
I don't think the fact that I have cheated has anything to do with my chart...I think the way I DEAL with it is where my chart comes in with all the emotions.
I guess I am just asking for advice on how to sort out my emotions and forgive myself...you know?
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Permalink Reply by Argentille on
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Ah yeah, I see. I understand a little of what you are going through. I did the same thing; dated while my Libra and were on a break...but it went a little further than I would like to admit to my Libra, mostly I believe it is the need to fulfil the emptiness and with the uncertainty nagging at you; it's only natural to try and keep your options open. You know? It's kind of natural to be self critical and I understand that you feel really horrible about your Cancer, but nothing is going to change the past. :) Telling him the truth now would make him completely not respect you...most Cancers I know take cheating very seriously.
<3 Good luck.
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Permalink Reply by LaDiablaCancer on -
you are always going to carry a sense of guilt about cheating on your cancer with the scorpio
there are so many reasons why we cheat; boredom, uncontrolled passions, but the one reason I see the most is dissatisfaction in their relationship. I will admit it, I've cheated on someone emotionally, but really the person you're in a relationship with should have you emotionally, not just physically. That was our (me and taurus) problem; I dated him just to date someone and while he fell in love, I didn't feel the same. I began talking to my cancer man while he and i were still technically together and I felt HORRIBLE because I started getting a crush on him; I was beginning to feel feelings that I should have had for the taurus guy. I tried to leave him but he became clingy and promised me that things between us would change and I relented out of guilt, but the writing was on the wall and I had to walk away. Now, I'm where I want to be and the only thing I truly regret is dating the taurus man in the first place, because it was not my intention to ever do that to someone.
We are only afforded some amount of happiness in life; For as much I don't like cheating, sometimes the person you think you are SUPPOSED to be with, isn't the one for you at all. For as nice a guy as the taurus was, we had LITTLE in common, and thus had no foundation on which our relationship to truly stand. Remind yourself what you have NOW and why you chose to be with the scorpio in the first place. If everything between you and the cancer guy were perfect, you would have never even looked at him.
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Permalink Reply by Jet on -
Im with ASDF, the few times I did cheat it was in retaliation. Maybe youre not really into either of these two guys? I think a persons chart just shows potential, its not definite. We choose the descisions we make. They are not made for us. Im a Libra, we arent really known to be faithful. But if a person shows me he is into me, I'll do all that I can to make sure he knows that he is the only one in my world(romantically). So I think you shuld evauate how much you truely value your relationships with Cancer and Scorp. Maybe neither one is "THE 1."
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Permalink Reply by sugarbomb on -
Why don't you just have an open relationship? I mean they both know about you and still want to be with you. Might as well change your status from cheater to...liberated explorer. Which means you also give your partner the right to do the same. You can't expect faithful love if your not capable of extending it right? Do the right thing and talk about it and be safe.
Doesn't have to be guilt ridden and heart breaking if you chose to see it otherwise.
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Permalink Reply by shea on -
hun it doesnt sound like you are ready for a close committed relationship. are you scared of committment or just scared of getting hurt? you sound so confused about your own feelings which doesnt help because you are a cancer and generally worry about hurting others feelings as well. maybe you should take some time apart from both of these guys to sort out your feelings and make sure that no one gets hurt. emotional cheating is just as bad as physically cheating to me and i would be devastated if i was in love with someone who was cheating on me. be very careful here because you are a water sign also dealing with other water signs.
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