Capricorn Hurting me?
I'm a Cancer and I've been with one Capricorn for about five years, we started really 'dating' about two years ago....he's very logical, and sometimes he hurts me. I don't think it's ever intentional on his part, always when he's working, or really tired...he wont call, text, or see me at that point, and it really upsets me. I don't want a lot of conversation when I know he's tired, but a text takes practically no effort, and it seems so mean that he'd ignore me for days/week on end cause of something like this. I've always talked to him even when I've had school and working forty hours a week! ...am I being over emotional about this? Does he just really need the space and should I get over it? Another problem is that when I want to go do things, like go see a movie, or something like that, he wont go unless it's nearly his idea. My ideas always seem to be shot down cause they're inconvinent for him, or not 'safe'. Is this a normal Capricorn trait or no? Is there any way to try and make him understand it makes me feel useless and unimportant? ....
Just asking to see what everyone thinks, thanks!
Just asking to see what everyone thinks, thanks!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Chris on -
Hello! Tis me Mr. Capricorn guy!
Hi
So I sent you a message but i'll respond to this aswell since it may benefit other readers looking strangely at their Goats wondering what up with all shoe lace eating.
Well thee biggest thing here that wont get you the answer your looking for is a certain incident you mentioned to me a few days ago about what some of his close friend said about him of late. This you might want to mention if you want the forum people to be able to tell you exactly whats going on. But since I'm here I'll save everyone from the head scratching.
Your Capricorn has become very introverted, absorbed in himself and self reflective and he is doing what all caps do when they are deeply emotionaly hurt, hes clearing the house of all the clutter, cob webs and junk in his mind.To do this he will shelter himself and put him out of reach from most people. What happened to him a few days ago was very hard on him because of what his friends said about him, to a capricorn to be degraded and considered worthless is enough to put any Capricorn in a spiral of self hatred, denial and strict avoidance.
He isn't doing these things because he is angry at you, from what you told me in confidence honestly I think it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with himself. Capricorns place a value to everything, a value to friendship as much as anything else. What has happened is your Capricorn is searching in himself a value, a worth that he has in his heart to keep him pushing forward. What you might want to do ( i'm strongly suggesting this) is to read my blogs about Capricorns.
Second, you should let you capricorn know that you are there to support him, let him know that your hand is reaching out to comfort him incase he need someone to hold his. If you stick through this and gently remind him that you are there because if you leave him then he wont have anything left, he knows you are there and he knows you love him but if he knows you are longer there to help him in his time of need he will pcik himself apart.
You have a right to worry and I think it is important you mention that to him. When someone I love says " hun I am worried about you" its enough to put me on my feet and set things on a better tone and I think this is very important for you to express.
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Permalink Reply by Meiori on -
I went over to his house and kind of confronted him about this, but...it's that he just doesn't think valentines is important, and he's been working himself to death demolishing a house, without using large equipment (only a sledge hammer). Really...I'm just gonna take a chill pill, he's still the same guy I fell in love with, and when he's done moping, or being isolated he'll come back to me and apologize for being crappy. It's like how sometimes I go off for days and just 'shell' not talking to anyone or anything, and hide...I guess. Or at least that's what I'm getting really. I wrote him a letter to explain some things to him (I've found conrete things like written word seem to get across easier to him) and just say I love him.
Sound like a good method?
(thanks ya'll for being so helpful! I appreciate it deeply)
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Permalink Reply by WateryFire on -
Meiori, honestly, in my opinion, I'm surprised you guys have lasted so long. Emotional Cancer with dry Capricorn is definitely not a good mix, unless he has a lot of water in him, which does not seem to be the case here. I have a Cancer Moon and Venus and dated a Capricorn for about 2 years, and all of things you're saying, I have experienced. In the beginning, he would call.text every day. The closer we got, and the more official we got, the more boring/difficult he got. Calls were practically nonexistant and if he had to work, I couldn't get none! I was like "huh?" The whole thing about your ideas being shot down..bingo! Same here!
Sweetie, I learned the hard way that if you want to be with a Capricorn, you need to accept that this is how they are, or keep it moving. If you hold on wishing that they'll change, you're wasting your time, because they won't.
:( Sorry, but I hope this helps...
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Permalink Reply by Meiori on
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Really he's never been a 'text everyday' kind of guy, nor am I the sort of girl. Sometimes I drift off for days and don't answer my phone. As for the not getting any, well...that happened to me for a little bit, then I teased him and it seemed to knock him out of his funk. He reacts really well to my flirting oddly enough, maybe it's the 'you like what you aren't' thing? ....I'm starting to get that some things I'll just never have with him, and other things I always will. Like...he'll never be a 'romantic' guy, but he'll always look out for me, and make sure I'm taken care of one way or another. (He's weirdly protective of my health in general) . That make sense? ...and thank you for your advice. Its very appreciated!
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Permalink Reply by Sunniskye on -
I feel what Chris is saying to a certain degree but I have dealt with quite a few Cappies in my life. My BFF and also dated some. You have to stand up to these guys. Once they put their blinders on they do not even see you standing there or realize the fact that they just trodded over you and your feelings.
It's okay to feel sorry for them, because they do have a hard time expressing defeat/hurt feelings, howevever it is not okay to allow them to be rude.
I have found that Capricorns (as much as it may infuriate them at the moment)but Cappies like to have STRONG people around them. No doormats (not saying you are) I learned the hard way that trying to appear caring, consoling, comforting in a soft manner doesnt work effectively with them. You have to blast them. Let them know "Hey I understand that you are going thru some sh*t but you cant go around treating people crappy b/c of it!" Say it with authority and mean what you say. If you don't like the ay he is treating you then retreat/remove yourself for a minute and let him brood. If you mean anything to him, he will be back. They never apologize, (they are never wrong of course...lol) but he will probably have a better attitude and will want you to let by-gones be by-gones.
You can bring it up later in a humorous manner. Like "Man you were tripping last week, I thought I was going to have run your behind over with my car!" At least that's how I learned to deal with mine.
Whenever I "babied" them they got worse.....
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Permalink Reply by Evette on -
Capricorn needs to compromise a little with you. Some men, not all of them like to be the primary desicion makers. I'm sorry that he ignores you for weeks at the time and not calling and texting you. Does he text you back when you text him? If he is working long hours he may really be exhausted and needs a break. Then sometimes when people are over worked like that, they have a tendancy to fall into depression and not realize that it has happended to them. If you and he can really get sometime to talk. Don't talk about doing things together, talk about heart to heart about what is wrong with the relationship. It is time for him to tell you what is the matter with him for quite a few years you and him have been together. He needs to speak up and be honest. Even if it hurts you sometime. My reason for saying that is, do you want him to tell you the truth, or do you want him to tell you what you want to hear? I sure wish you luck with him.
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